Wednesday, November 3, 2010

How Trials can bring Happiness

Well with everything health wise spiking up for me recently I have felt like I am the odd man out and that no one can relate to me and that I am the only one that has it rough because none of my peers seem to be going through the same issues, all of their issues seem so minuscule.  With my long drives to and from college everyday, I have had a lot of time to think and pray and well....I have it pretty darn good.  As far as a I know I do not have cancer, all of my 5 senses work, and all of my limbs work, so if the worst in my life is that I can not have my own biological child, I should count myself blessed.  In the scheme of life issues/problems, what I am going through is a walk in the park.  Everyone has their rough patches in life and this is just one of them so I just need to learn to embrace it for what it is and thank god that it is not worse.
Yet another way that my recent trials has actually brought me happiness is by helping me grow with love for my husband.  he has been my rock through this whole process.  If I ask him to go to a doctors appointment with me, he takes off work no questions asked and is there, if I am having an odd side effect he does whatever he can to make me comfortable, and when I am down on myself and feeling like I have hit rock bottom, he is there to make me smile.  Today I had to go in and get an IV to test my levels to either confirm or deny that I have CAH and well it had to get re-scheduled.  I ended up passing out due to many reasons.  First off I have small veins so it is very hard to get a needle in them, second I didn't eat breakfast before, and third they stuck me 3-4 times with no luck and after the last one my body just freaked out and passed out due to my blood pressure and heart beat plummeting.  Luckily my husband took off today to go with me and just keep me company since the IV would have been in for 60 min.  He was there to catch me so I did not get hurt when I feel in my chair and them one that gave me words of encouragement when I felt sick and silly after passing out.  He took more time out of his day to drive me home, get me food and make sure I was comfortable at home before he went to work and still got his 8 hours for the day.  I had to re-schedule the IV lab for next week and my husband has yet again took off work to be with me.  Even though I am scared, nervous and just plain do not want to have to go through it again, my husband is there keeping me strong.  He is such a wonderful man, and even though today kind of sucked when you thin about it, I see happiness in it because my heart grew a little bit more with love for my husband.
In short, I realized today that I am truly blessed!  I have learned to appreciate everyday that I can walk on this earth and that my husband is by my side.  I have found that there may be trials in life but trials CAN bring happiness if you look hard enough.  So my challenge to you is to look through whatever trials you are facing in your life be it PCOS, CAH, infertility, or whatever else that may be bothering you, and try, I mean REALLY try to find what good there is in your life at that time and hold onto that with dear life because THAT is what you have in life.  That is what will carry through your trials and make life worth living.

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