Basketball

So tonight I played in my first intramural basketball game.  I knew it would not be pretty because I had not dribbled or shot a basket in 2 years.  Little did I know that was the least of my worries!  We played 2 halves with 4 on 4 (so no breaks after quarters, no timeout breaks, and no subs).  At half time I thought I was going to die!!! I had never felt like this ever before in my life of playing sports and being an athlete.  My chest was on fire.  Usually my body gives out first or my breathing is a little labored but never this.  I felt like I had to throw up and was close to passing out and did I mention that my chest was on FIRE!!!!  I am so mad and disappointed in myself but I ended us telling my team that I could not go back in and play.  I am so upset with myself... I cannot even put it into words.  I gave up on myself and on my team and nothing can take that back.  It wasn't even giving up in private, the refs saw it, the score keeper saw it, the other team saw it, my husband saw it, and my team saw it.  We had no subs so the team had to play 3 against 4.  I was so selfish but I keep running it over and over again in my head and I really think I would have either A. Thrown up on the court or B. Passed out on the court each of which would have been mortifying as well.  I still do not know if I picked the better of the evils.  I ended up coming back about half way into the the 2nd half and helped them a bit but not enough to win.  I just fell mortified, embarrassed, just horrible about tonight and the worst part is that we play again on Sunday.  Now I am freaking out about if this will happen again or if my body will be able to push through not to mention having to face my teammates again.  All of this has just run home that  I need to workout and get my body in shape.  I have never thought I have been that bad but this has proven it to me.  BLAHHHH I just want to scream at myself for letting myself down and others over something so stupid that should never have been an issue if I just took care of my body!  Well that is enough ranting for now.  Hopefully someone can relate to this out there.

Fitness goal!

Okay so I have been "trying" to lose weight for awhile and have been semi successful.  I have lost significant weight and inches in the scheme of things but I know I can still lose more and feel even better.  Some say I should be proud of what I have done so far and that I am wasting away but I still feel I have room for improvement that is still healthy.  Here is my reasoning for why I feel I can still lose more weight...

• I eat out at least 4 meals a week if not more
• I workout 3 days a week if that
• I eat usually one sweet a day at least
• I overeat during meals

I feel like I should try and fix these factors and see if I can tone up a bit more and even lose some weight.  If I can master eating 6 small meals/snacks a day that are healthy, well balanced snacks/meals, workout at least 5 days a week, and only eat out 2 times a week I feel like that would be a huge accomplishment in itself and I strongly believe I feel feel better about myself no matter if I lose weight or not.  So I am going to start blogging everyday what I eat each day and what I do for working out.  I also plan on reporting my weight and measurements as well so that if you want you can join me in my lifestyle transformation and maybe try some of the things I eat and try some of the workouts.  I guess I also figure this may hold me a bit more accountable.  We will see!!! My goal is to get in a good habit of doing all of this by March 13, 2011 so that I can capitalize on it before summer comes in full swing!  So here it goes!

What if I can't have kids...

So in many of my classes, instructors ask "what are your goals in the next 5 years?"  I instantly think children.  But it is sinking in, what if I can not have my own children?  Am I cut out to adopt?  What will that do to my marriage?  If I would have known that earlier would I have even gotten married?  The answer to all of these is that I do not know. 
I realize I haven't posted in awhile so let me fill you in on what has happened.  I have gone and seen an endocrinologist to see if I have CAH.  When I saw him, he retested all of the hormone levels tested last spring that led them to say I have PCOS and low and behold all of my levels came back normal.  I have one last test to take and see if I have CAH and then I see the endocrinologist again and see where we go from here.  It is great my levels are normal but then it makes me wonder why am I not ovulating?!?!? Where do we go next? and What does this mean when it comes to having children? 
When I think about my future I always see being a mom and if you take that out I do not know who I want to be or what I want to do.  I realize I am jumping the gun a bit here but it just has been making me think lately and has kind of been bringing me down.  My husband and I have been talking about when we want to start trying to conceive like we have a choice which is what makes me laugh and I'm sure makes God laugh as well since I don't think we really have too much of a say in the matter.  We can just do everything we can and want to try and have a child but at the end of the day God is the one that makes it all happen.  This should give me comfort that it is all in God's hands and he has a plan for me, but to be honest it doesn't.  I am a planner and this is one thing I can not plan.  I hope I learn of better news that I can share next time.  I guess this is all just part of the journey ...

Hair diva

So from a very young age I have been in a battle with my hair.  I have curly hair so growing up it was a beast to tame.  It is funny how life works out, growing up I hated my hair and wish I didn't have it, now I look at my hair and wish I had more of it.  My hair has been dwindling away over the years and when I looked in the mirror tonight I felt hopeless.  The thing is other symptoms of PCOS can be hidden or worked with but not thinning/balding hair.  I am only 22 and my hair is thinning so what can  I expect when I am 30 if I continue the path I am going?  I have spent the last 30min looking up possible ways to 'treat' thinning hair and nothing seems to shout out to me.  I feel like a wig may be in my future.  I ask myself, is a wig all that bad.  Or do you shave your head and strut it proud?  I know my husband loves me, but how much can he take? I mean I'm sure seeing his wife have acne, thinning hair, and facial hair is not a huge turn on for him. Like so many other women I'm sure say, "I just want to feel beautiful for once, is that too much to ask?!?!?"   I realize this is kind of a downer post but I needed to vent, so here I am.  I just hope I am not the only women out there that feels this way.  Sometimes I wish I knew others facing the same issues I am so I don't feel so along in this.  So here's to me the hair diva!  May I enjoy my hair while it lasts, and not dwell on what the future may bring. 

How Trials can bring Happiness

Well with everything health wise spiking up for me recently I have felt like I am the odd man out and that no one can relate to me and that I am the only one that has it rough because none of my peers seem to be going through the same issues, all of their issues seem so minuscule.  With my long drives to and from college everyday, I have had a lot of time to think and pray and well....I have it pretty darn good.  As far as a I know I do not have cancer, all of my 5 senses work, and all of my limbs work, so if the worst in my life is that I can not have my own biological child, I should count myself blessed.  In the scheme of life issues/problems, what I am going through is a walk in the park.  Everyone has their rough patches in life and this is just one of them so I just need to learn to embrace it for what it is and thank god that it is not worse.
Yet another way that my recent trials has actually brought me happiness is by helping me grow with love for my husband.  he has been my rock through this whole process.  If I ask him to go to a doctors appointment with me, he takes off work no questions asked and is there, if I am having an odd side effect he does whatever he can to make me comfortable, and when I am down on myself and feeling like I have hit rock bottom, he is there to make me smile.  Today I had to go in and get an IV to test my levels to either confirm or deny that I have CAH and well it had to get re-scheduled.  I ended up passing out due to many reasons.  First off I have small veins so it is very hard to get a needle in them, second I didn't eat breakfast before, and third they stuck me 3-4 times with no luck and after the last one my body just freaked out and passed out due to my blood pressure and heart beat plummeting.  Luckily my husband took off today to go with me and just keep me company since the IV would have been in for 60 min.  He was there to catch me so I did not get hurt when I feel in my chair and them one that gave me words of encouragement when I felt sick and silly after passing out.  He took more time out of his day to drive me home, get me food and make sure I was comfortable at home before he went to work and still got his 8 hours for the day.  I had to re-schedule the IV lab for next week and my husband has yet again took off work to be with me.  Even though I am scared, nervous and just plain do not want to have to go through it again, my husband is there keeping me strong.  He is such a wonderful man, and even though today kind of sucked when you thin about it, I see happiness in it because my heart grew a little bit more with love for my husband.
In short, I realized today that I am truly blessed!  I have learned to appreciate everyday that I can walk on this earth and that my husband is by my side.  I have found that there may be trials in life but trials CAN bring happiness if you look hard enough.  So my challenge to you is to look through whatever trials you are facing in your life be it PCOS, CAH, infertility, or whatever else that may be bothering you, and try, I mean REALLY try to find what good there is in your life at that time and hold onto that with dear life because THAT is what you have in life.  That is what will carry through your trials and make life worth living.

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) vs. Nonclassical adrenal hyperplasia (CAH)

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) vs. Nonclassical adrenal hyperplasia (CAH)..... wow I know big, scary words but I have become a bit more educated on both of them and the differences in the past week or so and have a feeling I am going to learn a lot more in the weeks, months, possibly years to come.  Why do I have both of these listed you may ask? Well because they may be very related for some individuals.  Apparently there are some instances where an individual is misdiagnosed with PCOS when they really have CAH.  How this happens is because CAH has many of the same symptoms as PCOS such as abnormal hair growth, sever acne, abnormal periods, infertility, and male patterned baldness just to name a few.  The thing is they have the same symptoms but they are caused by very different activities in the body.  Just to break it down into very simple terms, CAH is caused by an enzyme deficiency where as PCOS is caused by the insulin/glucose regulation in the body (again this is from what I understand when it is broken down into simple terms).  So since the symptoms are caused by different reactions occurring in the body, naturally there are different methods of treating them. Why I bring this up is because I have never heard of CAH, I had only heard of PCOS so when the first doctor said 'Hey, you have PCOS' I never questioned them for a second and trusted them completely with my treatment until I have been treated by my most recent doctor who looked over my previous labs and said 'Hey, some things are not quite matching up' needless to say last week I got tested for CAH and low and behold my labs were way off.  I am going in for another test this week to confirm my doctors theory that I actually have CAH.  Now as she says, I can still have CAH and PCOS so we will have to figure that out a bit later depending on what unfolds in the weeks to come but it is still movement forward into figuring out what my body is doing. 
Why I share what tests and theories have come up in my life is because it is my hope that you too may learn from what I am going through and may go and talk to your doctor about CAH if you have any twinge of a doubt on your treatment or diagnosis with PCOS or vice versa if it applies.  I figure it is always nice to learn through others when possible instead of making our own 'mistakes' if you want to call it that.  The initial test for CAH is quick and painless (from my experience), it is a simple blood test which can tell your doctor if you need further tests.
From what I can tell so far most doctors will prescribe birth control to "fix" both PCOS and CAH but I have to put this out there that I do not believe in taking birth control to "fix" medical issues.  I see it as just a band-aide that hides the underlying problem.  I believe in using actual medications that work with your body to actually fix the problem instead of using birth control and working against it.  When looking for a treatment for PCOS or CAH other than birth control, you will be taking different medications that work with the individual diagnosis to help your body to start running a bit more normal.  So with this in mind there are different methods to treat CAH and PCOs that should help your body cope with the diagnosis, you just have to decide which one fits better with your beliefs.
I will post more as I figure it out but I hope this post at least gets you guys thinking thinking a bit differently about PCOS diagnoses ...
If you want to look more into CAH here is a site that helped explain it a bit more for me (make sure you read about the nonclassical type not the classical type) National Adrenal Disease Foundation
Also for those that want to read more up on PCOS visit the Mayo Clinic site

Best way to turn anyone into a runner that hates running (and other workout ideas)

Well one thing I kept reading over and over and over again when I researched about PCOS when I was first diagnosed was that you need to get your weight down to a healthy BMI and you need to do it the good ol fashion way of eating right and working out.  Now I have tried everything in the book for both, and today I am going to share what I have found works best for me in the workout arena (I will save nutrition for another post).  Now the first step is to figure out what your BMI is anyway since it is different for everyone.  A helpful tool for this is found at the National Heart and Lung Institute's website.  It simply asks for your height and current weight and then calculates your BMI from that.  Then you take that number and compare yourself to this chart:

BMI Categories:

• Underweight = <18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
• Overweight = 25–29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater 

Now as with everything in life there are many circumstances for why you may have a higher or lower BMI than what is considered "normal" and this is where your doctor comes in.  As well I should also throw out there that before trying to change your lifestyle significantly, like changing diet and adding exercise, you should check with your doctor to make sure your plan works for your body and your individual circumstances!
Why I bring up your BMI as a good starting point is because with today's media, it is hard to even know what a healthy weight is anymore.  As women we tend to get in the groove of always saying "I need to lose weight" "I am too fat" and maybe this isn't true or maybe we end up on the other end of the spectrum and say "I am average/normal" and maybe we are overweight (I fell into this category).  In any case, we need to strive to get to a healthy point for our own bodies.  As we learn with PCOS, it is very important to get to a healthy weight to help with our other symptoms.
So now that we have our goal (our healthy BMI weight) we can gauge how much weight we want to lose and maybe a realistic timeline for this.  Here are some workout ideas...

1. Join a gym (if you are spending the money for the gym you may be more likely to go) try doing this with a friend so that you can hold each other accountable!
2. Join a fitness program like Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping Program.  It costs quite a bit for 10 weeks but it is 5 days a week and they hold you accountable and work with you to make sure you lose the weight!  

My warning for the above options is that they can cost a lot of money!!! and frankly you can get great results without shoveling out the cash.  I observed Farrell's because I was amazed at some of my friends results that did it and wanted the same results for myself but after watching, you ca create the same workout plan at home for ALOT cheaper but you will not have the accountability that you have with Farrell's(They call you if you do not show up and you have a coach)  This is where you decide works best for you and your personality!

Now for those of you that want to try and save money or like working out at home, here are some options for you (this is where I fall)...

1. Try buying workout DVDs.  I personally like Turbo Jam  it is a fun set of videos that works with your ability level.  They have 20, 35, and 45 min workouts.  They have great music that makes the time just fly by.  The trick to using these and getting the same results as a body shaping program, is doing it 5 days a week! other DVDs friends have tried is The Wave, The Ab diet,  and Carma Electra's workouts DVDs
2. Try joining an athletic league like sand volleyball or softball.  You are having so much fun playing that you forget that you are getting a workout.  Unfortunately to get really good results you will probably have to supplement this with something else though :(
3. NOW on to my personal favorite and workout of choice! The Couch to 5k Running Plan this was introduced to me about 6 months ago and has changed my life!  I should first start by saying that I hated running.  In middle and high school I was a three sport athlete and I still HATED running with a passion but that is what is great about this program, it turns you into a runner if you give it a chance and use it the intended way.  The other great part of this program is that it is FREE!!!  How it works is that it is a 9 week program that you download onto your Ipod.  Each week you run three days allowing for a day of rest in between.  The runs are only 30-45 min long so it is totally manageable.  The first week you start out by just simply running for 60 sec/walking for 90 secs and do this back and worth with a 5 min warm up and cool down.  Then the weeks to follow it just increases the amount of time you are running compared to walking until at week 9 you are running for 28 min.  There is music in the podcast to match your speed to and then the narrator tells you when to run or walk and gives you words of encouragement through out the run.  Remember I HATED running but after just 6 weeks of following this program, I actually stared to enjoy it and was able to run and not think about the pain or why I was putting my body through it but be able to think about how my day was going and what I needed to do later.  I really vouch for this program because it is free and can be adjusted to your needs (if you need longer you just keep running the same week program over and over again until you are ready to move on to the next one).  If you want to give it a try, it can be downloaded from itunes.  Just search "couch to 5k" and click on podcasts and find the one that that is made by Robert Ullrey.  

When I started my workout journey I was considered overweight by my BMI (I knew I could lose some weight but never thought I was actually classified as overweight by my doctor) so I started with the turbo jam videos because they were cheaper than a gym membership and I could do them in my home so I didn't have to feel embarrassed. After simply adding in working out since I was not doing any before, and watching that I did not over eat, I lost 20 lbs.  Then I switched over to the couch to 5k program this past spring and lost an additional 10 lbs.  I am back to my weight in high school (and a normal BMI) which I never thought was possible and I am feeling great!      

I hope this gives you some ideas on how to jump start your own workout routine and how to make realistic goals.  Some important things to remember are that sometimes weight is genetic so don't get too down on yourself if it takes a lot more work than your friend to lose the weight also PCOS can make it a bit harder to lose the weight as well.  The most important thing is that you try, with PCOS we are at higher risk for getting diabetes and cardiovascular disease and working out is one way to help prevent that.  Also remember to eat right when you are making these changes.  Don't throw away all your hard work by putting a ton of sugary and fatty foods into your body.  This takes time but if you believe in yourself and put in the work, it will pay off.  So talk to your doctor and get started!